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[royaliability]

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[royaliability]

[She should. She really should. This guy is testing her patience like nobody else here has. Good thing Literally Every Man she's ever known is extremely difficult, though. Robin's got nothing on King Onyx.]

If I wasn't going to comply before, what makes you think being rude will change my mind?

[offshoots]

[don't worry, he hasn't even started.]

What? It was just a question.[one he has no business knowing but he's testing her more than anything.] I mean, you're not correcting me either, are you? It's rude because it's out of your area of experience?

[SLAP THIS FUCKER.]

[royaliability]

There you go again...

[She sounds like she's talking to herself, only not...quietly.]

That's enough. If you insist on behaving like this, you'll force my hand.

[offshoots]

[the last person he takes orders from is some, admittedly, pretty knightly queen.

he's had his knight Master already.]

Force your hand to do what? Take the basket?

[royaliability]

[She does reach towards him, but she reaches past the basket to grab him by the ear and then yanks it pretty hard as she drags him over to the booth.]

lmfao

[offshoots]

[NO WHAT]

Ow, ow, ow, owowow! Hey! Let go!

sometimes you have to be firm with your cactus

[royaliability]

[She pulls him allll the way until they're standing in front of the octopus that originally shoved them into the booth. It looks like it's either going to try again, or seems satisfied they're still hanging out together with the "gift" but she immediately raises a free hand to stop it.]

Do not even think about it.

[...they stop.

Then she pulls Robin closer to them.]

Return it. I'm giving you the opportunity.

[The painful opportunity.]

ah he's her cactus

[offshoots]

[since he's being pulled BY HIS EAR, Robin yelps and glares. he's been a royal pain in the ass, but he's been holding the basket this entire time, too.]

Why are you making me do it?!

[she could have just taken it and done it herself!!!

... he holds out the basket, anyway. with a flabbergasted expression, the octopus takes the basket from Robin.]

Are you happy?

he's a cactus she is adjacent to 1/2

[royaliability]

[She lets go.]

You were behaving like a child.

2/3 actually

[royaliability]

[Then she slaps him.]

That was for your remarks earlier.

[royaliability]

[And then she sighs, sounding relieved.]

I feel much better.

1/?????

[offshoots]

[Robin has about .5 seconds to rub at his ear and scowl at her (like a child) until he gets a slap in the face.

the sound rings out or maybe that's just his ears ringing?]

[offshoots]

[....... wh──]

[offshoots]

[WHAT THE HELL!?]

[offshoots]

[it's on the side opposite his ear, too!! couldn't she have done all her punishments on one side? no? fuck.]

[offshoots]

[in the end, Robin has one hand on his ear and the other on his reddening cheek.]

I don't!

done, you can't go back now

[offshoots]

[he was wrong. if she feels better from smacking him and bringing him pain, that's a gateway to bad stuff.]

Dammit, that hurt. Did you have to hit so hard? Do knight types always have to do everything with all they have?

[royaliability]

I gave you adequate warning. There was no need for your crass behaviour.

[She isn't gonna let this stupid cactus just walk all over her?]

[offshoots]

[there's always a need for crass behavior with knight/king types.]

You didn't! [she did.] You had already been pulling my ear, the slap was overkill.

[royaliability]

I warned you. I told you that you’d force my hand.

[ha ha]

[offshoots]

I didn't think you meant literally put force in your hand!

[HA HA]

Ugh, whatever. That basket is someone else's problem now and no matter our score in that game, we're definitely not compatible. It's zero percent. You're some kinda knight or noblewoman, aren't you?

[royaliability]

One of Lord Odin’s valkyries, yes. A title I have always worn proudly.

[She’s also the only remaining (legitimate) princess of Erion, but she’s taking her banishment very seriously and no longer considers herself such.]

From the way you speak, I take it you have issue with both.

[Just a guess.]

[offshoots]

I can tell.

[a lord's Valkyrie. as good as a knight, that.

and she doesn't appear or speaks as if she's banished at all. an outlier like he was. how sad. don't be anything like Robin Hood.]

Issue? Well, a bit. [his hobby isn't just nanpa, it's exterminating statesmen BLAH BLAH BLAH]

I mean, you take issue with me, don't you? I'm a crass commoner and you're a stuck up and serious girl. Our kind doesn't mix.

[royaliability]

[Literally nobody else here has pissed her off as much as Robin, it's amazing. He wins the award, his prize is nothing.]

That's a very convenient excuse to tell yourself to compensate for your rotten personality. You must be at a loss when a fellow "commoner" finds you just as boorish as I do.

[offshoots]

[just wait.

if she thinks she's offended him, she has not. it'll piss her off more, most likely, but he grins.]

Naah, not at all. That's normal for rogues, isn't it? And I'd rather be that than a stick in the mud, hopped up on their own pride. So much that she makes the commoner man hand over baskets for her because she doesn't want to touch things she's too prim for. Right? If you had kept it, maybe you'd loosen up a bit.